Forbidden Treasures

I remember clearly the day it was discovered. That sinful thing I kept hidden in my room.

My mother practically wept when she confronted me over it. It was shameful, SHAMEFUL. Where had she gone wrong? How could she have raised a daughter who would have purchased such a carnal and lewd object? Why was God punishing her?

I sat, my fifteen-year-old eyes downcast, while she berated me for twenty minutes, gnashing her teeth over this scandalous and disgraceful object she had uncovered.

And then, she threw it into the trash.

I’m not surprised that she didn’t burn it – after all, to burn it she would have had to carry it from my bedroom, and heaven forbid any of my siblings should see it and know of my disgrace.

Once she left me to reflect upon my sins (without dinner), I sat and sadly stared into my small garbage can, at a pair of flowered cotton underwear with delicate pink ribbon around the top.

Because clearly, the only reason I would ever want to own something so abominably pretty, is because I intended for people to see them.

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8 Responses to “Forbidden Treasures”

  1. DragonKat Says:

    I’m floored.

    Also, here’s one of my gems. Sometime around my “junior year” of what should have been high school but was instead an endless litany of commentaries on the Sermon on the Mount authored by Mr. Gothard, I expressed a desire to meet the high school requirements for my diploma in case I wanted to go to college. I was, as 16 year olds can be, opinionated in my reasons and expression, and the result was I was sent to my room to contemplate my pride and rebellion for speaking that way to my parents. Later, my father came to my room to tell me that I needed to work hard to curb my propensity toward pride. Because I was smart, I had to guard against pride in the area of intellect and I should thank God for parents who could teach me humility by not allowing me to focus too much on my intellect, my particular source of rebellion.

    Today that “lesson” in humility is why I struggle any time I consider applying for a job – though I have great work records and have succeeded in positions typically requiring degrees, every new job application means the painful conversation around why a smart capable woman from a family of means has no education. It’s embarrassing, and will most likely keep me from ever making a competitive salary in my field (non-profit development).

    If only I’d stayed home to bake bread and milk goats, this would not be an issue. My fault!

  2. hillary Says:

    Hahahahahah. Yes.

  3. Mommaduck Says:

    Goodness, the memories! We weren’t ATI, but my folks were Gothard influenced. I was ONLY permitted beige and white undergarments. After courting my husband for almost 4yrs and engaged for 1 1/2yrs, I went shopping with a neighbour and bought a black floral demi bra. Taking a shower one day, my mama comes into the bathroom and she asks if I’m having sex. I asked her if it was because there was a black bra on the counter…yep, that was her reasoning (amoung other things she said). No, mother, I’m still waiting for that wedding and it’s difficult to have sex with someone that is several states away in basic training *rolleyes*. Trying to explain that it was a pretty bra and girls like pretty underthings even if they are the only ones that know about was probably very confusing to my mama. I’ve been tempted to send her something red and lacy over the years 😛

  4. Rick Says:

    You girls crack me up! But even being a male, with all my research into Gothard and his teachings, I can only sympathize with what you all had to go through. But, keep your spirits up; you could have been sent to Jack Hyles’ high school, or worse yet, Hyles-Anderson College.

  5. cozette Says:

    I grew up in a home that was very conservative and did attend Gothard but get this I was encouraged to get sexy underthings. My 70 year old Aunt bought me some of the sexiest lingere I have ever seen.I am still one of the cleanest women I know and have been widowed for 16 years.Anyone know of a guy who wants all that and more? LOL

  6. MamaMay Says:

    OMG! Sorry to use the profane but… wow….

  7. Single_minded Says:

    Hahaha. Oh, yes. I got my undergarments as hand-me-downs from an older (non-ATI cousin), and anything with lace or ribbons was thrown out. Oddly, my brothers were allowed to keep the Spider-Man boxers that came to them… I was intensely jealous.

  8. guest Says:

    I read these post’s and just feel so angry and disturbed. Are these thing’s really going on behind closed door’s of ATI families? A pr. of pretty panties? As children of God we are to display the fruit’s of the Holy Spirit. One of the fruit’s is love and love alway’s beleives the best about another. The daughter with the mom who bereted her for buying a pr. of panties with flower’s believed the worst of her daughter. All i can say is ‘wow’.It was the mother who displayed a wrong spirit. My heart aches for that precious young women.We people who have accepted Christ as our Savior are free! ‘There is now no condemnation is us’!I read how Gothard was overheard telling russian host’s ‘that christian’s could not handle freedom! If this is true..then Bill Gothard you are calling the Almighty God a lier and telling Him He is wrong about setting His children free! Jesus said learn of Him for His yoke is easy and His burden is Light. What heavy impossible burdens to place on the shoulder’s of children. How sinful.And by the way.. we are are saved by grace,kept by grace and grace will bring us home.

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